~missing--link

my thoughts:
still crazy, nervous, angry sad, disperatic. all the usual paranioa. lol

You know me guys this is going to be the best spelt journal ever with no gramaitcal errors anyway....:\

my birthday came and went, and i had a larf but it kind of made my realise that i still hate myself. Typical sag there, (althought it is the best sign) the only time i feel happy anymore is when im dodging trouble (which i shudnt b in th 1st place) or on stage with my band. i miss hanging out with Rich and edd it kinda pains me. I love those 2. althought im in a dilema, i miss seeing those guys like i have been home almost every weekend from aber, to visit all my freinds, mason,kiel(spelt correctly btw) , edd, rich, mark, etc, you know who you are. but i miss stuff at uni. theres no pleasing some people. Well anyway i have 2 chances to feel alive b4 xmas, a botbs which we are going to win on friday. and the usualy xmas gig in llnatwit major in which we have played the last 3 years, o my god we have been together that long.

if ur there watch us, we have been told were good. you mite like it.

some times i think it wud be easier just to end everything.....

one thing i noticed birthdays get suckier as you get older

last year got a car and went paintballing, this year... a t-shirt, a cd from edd i havnt got still. a game from alan and breakdown cover....... yey!

being alone here is starting to get to me why i dont like me, even tho i try sooo hard. maybe thats the problem......

got most ppls xmas presents. got edds, got kiels, planned marks, got dads, got mums kind of (if it turns up), alan need to get more 4 him, rich's got covered with his birthday present in which he is framing im soo glad he likes it.
aber ppl, kinda got pips, got and given sams, edd and alex i supose i need to find sumthing for.......

this room mite also be apart of why i suffer, because i have known life in aber outside of this room when i was sharing with sam, im starting to hate it here, the ppl down th sea front are amazing and if anything they deserve the rooms up here, the ppl im staying with are a bunch of d1cks (with the exception of 1 girl who is brilliant but i dnt get a convo reli) no convos out of any of them. i could slag them of all day but thats not the point.......

grrr why do i think like this.......

looking fwd to the free time over xmas to start experimenting in forming my own music thing using just my guitar and layers and my voice to create a band/thing.....

lost everything, my laptop got wiped which isnt that bad since i have all the stuff on alans laptop since it got wiped b4, but i had to start my game again and i have lost all of my digital art and flash which i really loved it was good,

working for angus, the money is good, but were both as lasy and fogetful of each other so projects get delayed loads....

anyway, if anyone in aber reads this invite me to a movie i wud defo appriciate it.......
Gaz